I lack natural good form when it comes to dog walking, which is why I am taking lessons. Thank goodness the instructor eschews shame-based teaching methods. No pointing and snickering when I goof up-like the time I hit poor dog in the face with a cheddar cheese cube that was supposed to be a reward.

As I untangle myself from the leash after each try, “Positive Training” expert Melinda Berger points out my success, however small. The dog gets a cheese cube in the eye and I get a “good job!”

Make no mistake, Berger spends way more time with the creature holding the end of the leash than she does with the one wearing the collar and tags.

You see that lawn ornament in my front yard? That’s no ornament. That’s my dog, refusing to budge now that I’m putting myself in charge of our walks.

When I get exasperated, Berger assures me the dog isn’t being stubborn or spiteful or just plain rude. Instead, dog is a play-it-safe creature just trying to figure out the new rules. Be patient with her, she counsels. Whatever.

I honestly believe dog and I would have more success as physics lab partners than we do learning “loose leash walking” together. We’re having so much trouble because dog has been in charge of our walks since she was a tiny pup. It’s a lot easier to prevent bad behavior than correct it. But correct it we must, if dog and I are ever to walk in peace.

In the old days (last week) I’d clip on her leash and she would tear out the front door and up the drive, pulling me into a sprint behind her. I’m not the sprinting kind. It has grown so difficult for me to keep up with her that I’ve seriously considered buying an old boardwalk cruise to ride behind her.

Husband discouraged the idea right away, pointing out that I’m not so steady on a bicycle that doesn’t have a bounding pit bull doing the steering. He envisioned having to untangle me, the bike and the dog from trees and utility poles.

That would have been undignified. So, I’m taking these walking lessons. Berger’s walk philosophy is simple but not easy.

“Make a pact with yourself that, from this day forward your dog will NEVER arrive at his destination by pulling. He will only arrive where he wants to go by walking on a loose leash. If your dog is pulling, stop your forward motion.”

Dog and I stand around a lot these days.

Berger is teaching me to use a clicker and treats to reward the occasions when pooch will walk with a little slack in the line. There’s a method to this. But I get so happy for a little forward movement I’m clicking and raining down treats willy-nilly. Dog looks confused and figures it’s better to sit still.

I made matters worse Monday, when I offered a not-so-interesting treat. Turns out dog refuses to do any heavy lifting for anyless than a Vienna sausage. She looked insulted when I clicked and tossed cheddar. Berger suggested I up the ante.

Which is all to say that it could be a long while before neighbors see dog and me on a elegant stroll. But, like Berger, I remain positive. It could happen. I just gotta believe.