By Kate Fratti
Bucks County Courier Times
Reprinted with Permission
I’m convinced God sends angels to us in the form of ordinary
people. He uses them to teach what he wants us to know.
The angle he most recently sent to me has a really cute
haircut-short, short silver- rimless spectacles, a soft smile and a
fanny pack filled with beef and liver bits.
I enjoy the angle named Melinda Berger so much that I would count
her among my friends. Really, I am her pupil. She’s the trainer
who has agreed to help turn my pit bull into polite pal.
I sought Berger’s help because the dog weighs just 60 pounds,
but has the strength of an 180-pound man. You need that kind of dog’s
cooperation. And I haven’t been able to persuade the dog to
refrain from jumping on visitors. There also are some issues with
coming when called and letting me keep up with her when we walk.
Until now, the dog trained me how to behave instead of the other way
around.
I’m drawn to Berger’s philosophy of “Positive Training,”
which is about encouraging good behavior and gently redirecting bad.
I figured a little work and I’d be back in charge. Easy.
Of course, if this were going to be easy, God wouldn’t have
sent the big guns.
For starters, my angel had humiliating news.
MY DOG DOESN'T LIKE ME.
Am I bleeding? I must be bleeding. Wounds like this bleed.
“Doesn’t like you” weren’t her exact words. Berger would
argue that’s not what she said at all.
What she said is that the dog is “sensitive,” and not sure
what to make of Mom.
See the ears back, the droopy shoulders, when she comes into the
house from the yard?
“She’s not confident,” Berger explains. “She looks
worried.”
Could my exasperated tone, confusing commands, mixed messages and
too loud and spirited phone conversations with a contrary kid leave
the dog wishing she had a calmer, cooler, more consistent commander
in me? Looks like it.
Wouldn’t it have been more loyal of the dog to fake adoration
in front of the trainer and talk with me about this privately?
The dog visibly brightens at Berger’s attention; looks
concerned when she’s faced with me.
The dog has issues with me? The dog?
Berger, of Dream Dogs, makes light of it. No judgment. No big
deal. We’re gathering info about the dog. Part of training means
learning what makes each individual dog tick. We’re learning to
communicate-in word and deed-so she’s cheerful, confident and
clear about what it is I’d like from her.
A stressed out pooch is bad news. Dogs act out when they are
stressed.
So here it is. While there are all sorts of positive things to
teach the dog, there will also be stuff I’ll need to learn. One
lesson is to be flexible. Be more accepting and less critical.
Quietly observe then fashion a response. Breathe. And have some fun.
I need this like I need a hole in my head.
If I cooperate, I won’t just improve my relationship with the
dog, but maybe with some humans.
Before she leaves, the angel puts a positive spin on all of this
bad news. “There are many things that dogs can teach us.”
I suppose she wants me to be happy that pit bulls don’t charge
by the hour.
Kate Fratti, whose column appears on Monday, Wednesday and Friday
in the Bucks County Courier Times, signed on for five weeks of
lessons. Her family thinks it’s hilarious the trainer outed Mom as
the source of the dog’s angst.
